HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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