that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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