I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
