Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize