We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
