You're my little dorito
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
