wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
