This girl is more easily done than said...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
