Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's never too late to be topless.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
