You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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