whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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