That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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