Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
