I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
