i barfeds in our rink
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
