I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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