Non-Jews are for practice
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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