Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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