Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize