There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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