Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
