you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
