apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize