How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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