Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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