dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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