when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This baby is an asshole
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
