I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will be naked everywhere
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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