can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
