living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
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