I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
