didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
