I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
