Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They have beer where we have blood.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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