I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
