is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
