Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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