It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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