I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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