Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
