Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
