Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
