Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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