I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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