dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
