Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
