So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
