he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
