The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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