I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
