At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Please, let me fuck your mom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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