Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
worst night to have a conscience
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
