You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize