There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
