Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
