WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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