Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
