HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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