Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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